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Sanity Is A Thing Of The Past

by Andrew Lawrence Jackson

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1.
Unnatural 04:47
I encountered here a mystery on its way around the world It was stopping for a visit with a small enchanted girl I awakened and enlisted in that bright cerebral moment In the work that will forever be unfinished And I hailed it as a most unnatural Perfectly sensual Highly improbable moment In which everything was as it should be And isn't it always, actually I imagined here a piece of something larger than myself And that it wasn't all me after all But then an angel came along and placed the lock inside the key As if to say I'd had it all completely wrong And I hailed it as a perfectly natural Highly sensible mostly common moment In which everything was as it shouldn't be As always, naturally -- Words and music by Andrew Lawrence Jackson (copyright 1994)
2.
In the prime of my life I’m absolutely in denial of everything I ever thought I knew There’s a face in the crowd Smiles at me sweetly Just like someone I’d known before when all the world was new I will never forget what’s-his-name He’s driving down the highway in an angry wilderness He is there in my reflection And he’s there in your embrace And his name is in the embers Nearly lost without a trace I will never forget what's-his-name I will never forget what's-his-name I will never forget what's-his-name, whats-his-name I will never forget what's-his-name I am passing in time Surface in memory I follow in the footsteps Of the man who fell from grace I am passing my prime Lost in a desert Where the wind is so hot That I’m afraid to show my face I will never forget what’s-his-name He’s driving down the highway in an angry wilderness He is there in my reflection And he’s there in your embrace And his name is in the embers Nearly lost without a trace I will never forget what's-his-name I will never forget what's-his-name I will never forget what's-his-name, whats-his-name I will never forget what's-his-name -- Words and music by Andrew Lawrence Jackson (copyright 1995)
3.
So Unsure 04:26
There are times when I don’t want to go and just need that extra push When you’re always there to give me what I need to carry on There are times when it’s so frightening to face what might be there When it just seems so much simpler to return where I came from But it’s not about safety and it’s not about feeling secure It’s the time to take some chances even though I’m so unsure There are times when I go into a robotic trance There are times when I’m just doing the idiot dance There are times when I’m asleep that I suddenly awake When my soul starts to stir and recall what’s at stake But it’s not about safety and it’s not about feeling secure It’s the time to take some chances even though I’m so unsure It’s not about meaning and it’s not about truth It’s time to step out of this isolation booth It’s not about meaning and it’s not about truth It’s time to step out from the isolation booth But it’s not about safety and it’s not about feeling secure … But it’s not about safety and it’s not about feeling secure It’s the time to take some chances even though I’m so unsure Ow! So unsure… -- Words and music by Andrew Lawrence Jackson (copyright 1996)
4.
Twisted 05:05
You have a twisted face To match your twisted mind Dark and hopeless mystery Angry, young and blind Can’t see eye to eye with anyone And nothing here will do Obsessing with the tangled eyes of death Is nearly killing you You’re twisted Angry, young and blind You’re twisted Less than half a mind You’re screwed up No place you can be You’re used up A worthless novelty Near all-pervasive spells are binding you To your own fate Clocking in ahead of time You're still an hour late Your humorless expression tells Too many tales of woe You don’t know how to say goodbye You just know how to go You’re twisted Angry, young and blind You’re twisted Less than half a mind You’re screwed up No place you can be You’re used up A worthless novelty You’re twisted... -- Words and music by Andrew Lawrence Jackson (copyright 1997)
5.
He said, today is the first day of the rest of your life She said, what’s so great about that? He said, a brand new day to make new choices with each waking breath She said, nothing could be further from the place where I am at… The world extends as far and wide as a plummet into the depths Of pain and suffering, sorrow, humiliation, and eventually, death He said, he said… How can you be so cruel to yourself She said, what do you mean by that? He said, trust in what you feel in your heart She said, everything I know I learned from my cat She said, my hopes extend as far and wide as the space between my breasts With pain and suffering, sorrow, humiliation, and eventually, death He said, life is a wheel and death is a mask And the truth lies somewhere else She said, that may be all well and fine But just keep it to yourself… The world extends as far and wide as a plummet into the depths Of pain and suffering, sorrow, humiliation, and eventually, death She said, my hopes extend as far and wide as the space between my breasts With pain and suffering, sorrow, humiliation, and eventually, death With pain and suffering, sorrow, humiliation, and eventually, death With pain and suffering, sorrow, humiliation, and eventually, death -- Words and music by Andrew Lawrence Jackson (copyright 1996)
6.
There’s nothing to be done Now that the die is cast And sanity, most certainly Is something in the past I don’t remember anything I don’t remember why I think that once I thought I knew Before I lost my alibi I tried to make some sense of it I tried to hold on fast But now it’s clear that sanity Has slipped into the past I once had common sense I could depend upon But now I’ve jumped the fence I used to sit upon I wasn’t the first and I won’t be the last To know that sanity is something in the past And maybe this is all my own illusion And maybe this is all my own invention And maybe this is only dissolution Of something that was never my intention Maybe it’s true That I lost my direction Or maybe I was lost all along It’s really just a matter of perspective There is no absolute right or wrong I wasn’t the first and I won’t be the last To know that sanity is something in the past I wasn’t the first and I won’t be the last To know that sanity is a thing of the past A thing of the past... -- Words and music by Andrew Lawrence Jackson (copyright 1997)
7.
EVERLASTING PUNISHMENT IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME A LOVE THAT LASTS ETERNITY CANNOT BE SWAYED SO EASILY TALK TO ME SWEETLY... I WANT TO HEAR YOUR VOICE TALK TO ME AS IF I HAD A CHOICE TALK TO ME AND TELL ME ALL ABOUT YOU AND ON THE WAY I’LL LEARN ABOUT ME TOO ALONE AMONG ETERNITY WE ARE ALL THAT LIVES AND BREATHES WITH A MILLION SOULS SURROUNDING US AND A MILLION MORE ABOVE AND UNDERNEATH EVERLASTING PUNISHMENT IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME A LOVE THAT LASTS ETERNITY SURVIVING MY OWN SANITY SURVIVING MY OWN SANITY THE SUN SHINES OVER THE BUILDINGS AND THE LAKE THE CHILD WAKES FROM HER SLEEP SHE HAS TOO MUCH AT STAKE THE WOMAN-CHILD IS TRYING TO EXPLAIN BUT THERE IS NO REASON TO BELIEVE IN ANYTHING AGAIN IT’S THE ONLY THING TO DO IN TIMES LIKE THESE RISE UP FROM YOUR KNEES WALK OUT OF THE PLACE THE RHYTHM COMES FIRST AND THEN THE RHYME WE DON’T KNOW WHERE THEY CAME FROM BUT WE KNOW THEY TOOK ALL TIME TO ARRIVE MOCKING ALL WE FEEL WE KNOW INSIDE TURNING OUT THE LIGHT SINGING ME TO SLEEP GOODNIGHT… GOODNIGHT EVERLASTING PUNISHMENT IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME A LOVE THAT LASTS ETERNITY SURVIVING MY OWN SANITY -- Words and music by Andrew Lawrence Jackson (copyright 1997)
8.
There’s something I hate to admit That really gets to me Brings me face to face With my own defeat And I feel such shame Such perfect ennui That I’ll never be as miserable as Morrissey When I’m down and out, he’s more of a downer When I’m feeling low, he’s near six feet under When I feel depressed, he’s still much more depressing I’m vulnerable but he’s completely undressing Oh, woe is me, oh, woe is me I will never be as miserable as Morrissey Oh, woe is me, oh, woe is me I will never be as miserable as Morrissey Oh, woe, oh, oh Oh, woe is me, oh, woe is me I will never be as miserable as Morrissey -- Words and music by Andrew Lawrence Jackson (copyright 1993)
9.
i don’t belong everything is wrong with this picture i don’t believe i want to leave from this picture i am someone i am no one i am undone i am run down ‘cause i don’t belong i don’t belong moving among this breed of human strange as it seems i know what it means to feel useless i have been used i’ve been abused i’ve been afraid i’m still underpaid and i don’t belong no i don’t belong it’s obvious to see i don’t belong just look at me, look at me i don’t belong -- Words and music by Andrew Lawrence Jackson (copyright 1993)
10.
I’m so sick and tired I’m so tired I’m whining and crying and I’m so sorry But I can’t go on like this No I can’t go on, I can’t go on I’m so scared So lost and unprepared I’m whining and sighing and I’m so sorry But I can’t go on like this No I can’t go on, I can’t go on No I can’t go on, I can’t go on But you know the truth is, I will
 I will, I will, I will, I will... -- Words and music by Andrew Lawrence Jackson (copyright 1995)
11.
So much for pleading Now what will you do When what you want Still stubbornly won't come to you And so much for wanting Now what will you do When all that you want Is pulled away from you Who will you be and Where will you be if None of your dreams comes true It's not my prediction But I couldn't help wondering What would you say if I asked you? What would you say if I asked you? What would you say if I asked you? What would you say if I asked you? Well, so much for Creative Visualizing When what you see and what you have Refuse to come together And so much for All the pretty words And all the pretty pictures In all the pretty books Who will you be and Where will you be if None of your dreams comes true It's not my prediction But I couldn't help wondering What would you say if I asked you? What would you say if I asked you? What would you say if I asked you? What would you say if I asked you? -- Words and music by Andrew Lawrence Jackson (copyright 1993)
12.
You weren’t there when I needed you You never answered my calls Just the same old, same old, same old So it’s no wonder that I’m angry Well I’m sorry but I won’t apologize I don’t need any favors, empty promises or lies I’m sorry but I won’t apologize You were hollow on the inside Full of vapor, a mere illusion No more than a vague intrusion When I wanted so much more Well I’m sorry but I won’t apologize I don’t look back with fondness to those times I’m sorry but I won’t apologize Apologize… I’m sorry -- Words and music by Andrew Lawrence Jackson (copyright 1994)
13.
There’s something I hate to admit That really gets to me Brings me face to face With my own defeat And I feel such shame Such perfect ennui That I’ll never be as miserable as Morrissey When I’m down and out, he’s more of a downer When I’m feeling low, he’s near six feet under When I feel depressed, he’s still much more depressing I’m vulnerable but he’s completely undressing Oh, woe is me, oh, woe is me I will never be as miserable as Morrissey Oh, woe is me, oh, woe is me I will never be as miserable as Morrissey Oh, woe, oh, oh Oh, woe is me, oh, woe is me I will never be as miserable as Morrissey -- Words and music by Andrew Lawrence Jackson (copyright 1993)
14.
i don’t belong everything is wrong with this picture i don’t believe i want to leave from this picture i am someone i am no one i am undone i am run down ‘cause i don’t belong i don’t belong moving among this breed of human strange as it seems i know what it means to feel useless i have been used i’ve been abused i’ve been afraid i’m still underpaid and i don’t belong no i don’t belong it’s obvious to see i don’t belong just look at me, look at me i don’t belong -- Words and music by Andrew Lawrence Jackson (copyright 1993)

about

Released in 1998, "Sanity Is A Thing Of The Past" is Jackson's second official solo album, and it was his first CD release. It followed a couple of cassette compilations that Jackson put together in the mid-90's and was a self-released CD at a time when the digital technology for making CDs was quite new. Its ten songs explore experimental production styles. Jackson recorded and produced the album in his home studio -- he wrote all the songs, words and music, and played all instruments except the drums, although he did program the drum machine.

The 2016 reissue includes 4 bonus demo tracks recorded during the same mid-1990s time period. This landmark album in Andrew Lawrence Jackson's discography is now available for the first time as a digital download.

--
"Writing songs is my obsession and my passion. I am always writing new songs. I started playing guitar and writing songs when I was 15, and I've never stopped. I enjoy experimenting with different approaches to songwriting, exploring different methods of writing and recording that will produce unexpected results. Most of my writing is done late at night, guided by intuition, dreams, and the laws of chance. Listen with an open mind. What a big wonderful universe it is." - ALJ 1998

credits

released January 1, 1998

Recorded at Studio 7 in Palo Alto and the Partridge Nest in Menlo Park, CA between 1995 and 1997. Produced by Andrew L. Jackson. All songs written, arranged, and performed by Andrew L. Jackson. Paul Kraus played drums on tracks 3, 4, 6, 8, and 11-14. All vocals, acoustic and electric guitars, bass, keyboards, drum and tape machines, and digital sound manipulation by Andrew L. Jackson. Cover art and design by Andrew L. Jackson.

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Andrew Lawrence Jackson

Alternative singer-songwriter, recording artist, Zru Vogue founder, based in the San Francisco Bay Area.

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